Honestly, what just happened with Damon and Elena is probably the best or the worst thing by now. It’s their turning point.
I feel like my heart is clenched in an iron fist. This is how much I love him and this is how much it hurts me to see what he is doing to himself. He is a bundle of insecurities and in that state all he needs is a push and he is off the edge. When Tessa ranted to him about some epic-universal-love between Elena and Stefan, it hurt him, and he had his insecurities brought to surface, but he didn’t just back off. But know, a person he knows, a person he cared about for so long, comes and tells him he destroyed him and this is it. He breaks. The ghosts from his past are not influencing their relationship or Elena, they are hunting him and he does it. He thinks he doesn’t deserve anything, so he ruins it. And that makes me so so sad.
The worst thing in all of this is the fact that he accepts Elena for who she is, and he has repeated that over and over, and now when she is doing the same for him, he just doesn’t believe it and rejects it. This is how much his internal battles are winning him over. He has happiness and love, and he pushes it away from himself cause he thinks he does not deserve it. I remember 3x19 and he saying “What if I didn’t? What if there was no bump?”. The whole problem is that once they reached a point of taking that bumpy road no matter what, he sabotages himself. Cause even if he tries his best, in his mind his best is not enough. Or in this case, his best is worthless. He would rather take his own happiness away from himself, than wait for the day when ‘Elena sees him as a monster without redeeming qualities that is never gonna change’, stops loving him and just rips it away from him. Sigh.